my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
