I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
