Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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