weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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