Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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