Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize