Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
