if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
