Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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