I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
