does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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