she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
