She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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