over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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