pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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