OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
