Got a toothbrush?
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
