It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Found the puke drawer
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
