Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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