So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
