hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
