he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
