My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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