I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
