so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize