The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
