My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
