either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
