I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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