There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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