Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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