The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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