Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
