Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
