Dual....:-)
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
