just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize