is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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