He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
