explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I think I sprained my soul last night
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
