Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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