I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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