He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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