i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You're like the curious george of whores
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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