His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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