would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
