So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
