So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Too much gin, very little bucket
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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