He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
