Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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