Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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