butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
