It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
high people should be assigned attendants
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
