Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
