You really coming over, don't trick.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
