I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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