I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
