Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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