I think I am morally bankrupt
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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