Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
