so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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