So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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