I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
