I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
