Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Bring me that man meat
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
