omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Randomize
